The preparations of Eid started out on a low note with floods ravaging the country and hearing bad news all the time. The air just didn't seemed to be right to be festive or cheerful. I tried to get into the Eid spirit by applying henna on my hands much to sisters' surprise, as I have rarely been enthusiastic about the henna applying ritual which has always been a tradition of Eid celebrations. Things seemed to be going pretty well till I dozed off with the tattoo still fresh on my hand and much to my horror and amusement of everyone else, I woke up to a big orange colored splotch on my chin! Thank God the wonders of makeup, the ugly patch was well hidden with my wonder concealer. (Imagine having to walk around with it all day!)
With the orange splotch forgotten, got to more pressing issues at hand, the ultimate Eid socializing saga. I thought it was a good chance to lighten up a bit and yes collect a few Eidi's (Present money given on Eid). With the spirituality gained throughout the month of Ramadan out the window in minutes, the aunties we visited tried to stuff us with all the Sheer khorma, Kheer, Gulab jamuns, Channa chat ( few delicacies which make up the eid even more special). It was the ultimate task of every aunty not to leave us without us having tasted each single of their savory dishes. The same aunty who used to be lecturing me about how girls should look good prim and petite when I was chubby (beta larkian patli he achi lagti hain) was now constantly pressing me to have something "Uff beta itni kamzor ho gai ho(You have gone so weak) Have some haleem. No? Chalo have some gulab jamun. Atleast have some chana chaat" The poor soul just wouldn't stop pestering. I wish I could throw up on the her new persian rug just to get across the point how happy I was with my new (somewhat) emaciated self.
With still a few houses to go to, I badly needed to revise my culinary strategy. Graciously accept whatever drink the host(ess) had to offer (thinking what harm a few glasses of juices or sodas could possibly do me) and politely decline the edibles but who knew what I had gotten myself into!
Everywhere we went, a glass of Pepsi came staring into my face. I've never been a big fan of carbonated drinks especially the black ones, the most I ever have is to gulp down a steak or big mac.
But I was fated to one glass of Pepsi after another (so people really did take the pepsi business seriously after all).Oh God the Pepsi karma was getting back to me! During the whole month of Ramadan we had been literally harassed on our TVs by this advertisement in which a lady turns around and says "Kis ne kaha tha Pepsi pe 5 rupay kam kar do" (Who said to reduce the price of Pepsi) (The video is attached for the benefit of those who haven't seen it.)
Imagine having being hammered with it again and again(though this is much lesser annoying version of the add). The poor soul has been a constant target of everyone's (me included) ruthless mockery and stupid jokes to this day but why did I have to pay like this!
Anyways, almost 6 glasses of Pepsi later ( that's almost the amount of water you need daily to stay healthy and alive),drenched in the darned soda, I was thankful the Eid frenzy was over!
Mom was reminded she had to visit her uncle whom she hadn't met in a while. I could have gladly stayed at home but no the thought of getting Eidi made me trod along with the group. After all they would be tired after day long of entertaining guests and they would have run out of the day's supply of Pepsi anyways but no it seems "Save Rs 5" opportunity is too precious to let go off that easily.
Mom's aunt looked hopefully my way (where was that darn Persian rug) "Chal shabash jaldi se pi le mera bacha!" So much for not having the guts to say no...
Lessons learnt:
- What starts bad is doomed to get worse. (Read: What starts splotchy is doomed to get you choked or even drowned!)
- I am never going to mock, remotely make fun of someone even if he/she ticks me off to the extent of me wanting to bang my head against the wall and yes karma really does work!
- Greed comes with a price
- It's always I who has to pay the price!
- Saying no is way better than being courteous.
- I would throw up on a glass of Pepsi and the Pepsi lady anytime, anywhere!
- Anyone for stupid Pepsi jokes?!
